Past vs Future Focus
(Originally published 1/6/2022)
Uncoupling the stories about my past led to unleashing a new future.
Releasing past judgments changed how I relate to myself and my thoughts about my life's experiences.
Now, I find so much more peace in my heart as I relate to my past self with compassion and love. It's better than dwelling in regret, pain, and thought loops.
Many define ourselves and our future based on the past, answering questions about who we are with references to bygone days.
But yesterday is gone, dear reader. It might as well be ancient Rome. There's no changing it.
So why do we obsess over things that have already happened? And why do we tend to recall only the most negative and painful parts?
Our brains aren't always reliable storytellers.
They often exaggerate, focus on the negative, and paint an inaccurate picture of our past experiences. Let me get vulnerable and share how this used to permeate my life with misery. I was in a long-term relationship, and when we broke up, I was devastated. Instead of realizing we weren't a good match, I blamed myself, thinking I wasn't good enough. I tortured myself mentally, believing I could have changed the outcome if only I had been different.
It took a lot of therapy, supportive friendships, and self-love practices to realize that I wasn't the problem in that relationship. We had an unhealthy dynamic, and when we finally ended it, we freed each other.
Your past only exists in your thoughts. You get to decide what to think about it and what it means.
How do you know if you're stuck in a cycle of past focus? Some signs include frequently referencing the past, adopting a victim mentality, feeling weighed down by past events, and romanticizing past stories.
However, awareness and acceptance are the first steps to letting go of past focus. It's time to get excited about your future and figure out what you want.
When we follow our hearts, our lives become full of ease and effortlessness. So, let's stop wasting emotional energy on regret and instead focus on creating the future we desire!
